Amicus Curiae Brief — Tanco v. Haslam, 135 S. Ct. 1040 (2015) (No. 14-562)

- Supreme Court,U.S. >

FILED

MAR 27 20%

lied OF THE CLERK |

Nos. 14-556, 14-562, 14-571, and COURT, U.S. |

Jn the Supreme Court

of the Anited States

JAMES OBERGEFELL, ET AL., PETITIONERS

v.

RICHARD HODGES, DIRECTOR, OHIO

DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, ET AL..,

RESPONDENTS

ON WRITS OF CERTIORARI TO THE UNITED

STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SIXTH

CIRCUIT

BRIEF OF AMICAE CURIAE DAWN

STEFANOWICZ AND DENISE SHICK IN

SUPPORT OF RESPONDENTS

David Boyle

Counsel of Record

P.O. Box 15143

Long Beach, CA 90815

dbo@boyleslaw.org

(734) 904-6132

Counsel for Amicae Curiae Dawn

Stefanowicz and Denise Shick

(Additional captions listed on inside cover)

VALERIA TANCO, ET AL., PETITIONERS

v.

BILL HASLAM, GOVERNOR OF TENNESSEE, ET

AL., RESPONDENTS

APRIL DEBOER, ET AL., PETITIONERS

v.

RICK SNYDER, GOVERNOR OF MICHIGAN, ET

AL., RESPONDENTS

GREGORY BOURKE, ET AL., PETITIONERS

v.

STEVE BESHEAR, GOVERNOR OF KENTUCKY, ET

AL., RESPONDENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

TABLE OF AUTHORITIES. ........cccsccccccscccssesccece iii

STATEMENT OF INTEREST OF AMICAE

SPU bsdcecedecadsnsesedoniebessnsedsensesosebeetnbcewocetsesces 1

SUMMARY OF ARGUMENT..................cceceeeeeeees 1

TERE See one oO NE ae TE 3

I. Growing Up In A “Gay” Household: Dawn

TI: cnc coccusedeennnsssssnedenebubdetdoinidniensensectdesios 3

II. Instability of Gay Households......................... 12

III. Warning to America: Constitutional Freedoms

lnnpdsendadnsgscmsensininssenegenenstdeniseinoteticsentn 15

IV. Political Correctness & Science...................... 18

V. Silencing Our Voices............... icdideiinesntlabbiness 19

VI. Growing Up In A Transgender Household:

BT ictsnkcectecdndtenpenssensbesnnncnendinnniesstiioiiinsste 21

A. Some LGBT Activists Want My Voice

SI scnnce-cosconsconecseccsecescensecessnsosossososes 22

B. My Toxic Home Environment................. 23

C. My Mom Was Devalued......................4. 27

D. Becoming My Dad’s Victim.................... 27

li

E. The Impact on My Life......................05..d3

I ciicicdccnicctedunddstencenscoses sone

SE nes dnc ccscecccccccaccecesccsscecceccccncensesaces@ee

TABLE OF AUTHORITIES

CASES

De Leon v. Perry, No. 14-50196 (No. 5:13-cv-982, 975

F. Supp. 2d 632 (W.D. Tex. Feb. 12, 2014))........4n.5

CONSTITUTION

Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, Part I of

the Constitution Act, 1982, being Schedule B to the

Camede Act, 1668, c. 11 CUTE.) .cccccccccccccccccccccccccs: 16

RULES

EL ee Ae nee ae eae es eo ae ea ln.l

OTHER AUTHORITIES

Bill C-38: The Civil Marriage Act, Parliament of

Canada (Royal Assent: 20 July 2005. Statutes of

Canada S.C. 2005, c. 33), available at Mary C.

Hurley, BILL C-38: THE CIVIL MARRIAGE ACT,

revised Sept. 14, 2005, http://www.parl.gc.ca/About/

Parliament/LegislativeSummaries/

bills_ls.asp?ls=c38&Parl=38&Ses=1............ 15 &n.12

Brief submitted by Dawn Stefanowicz re Bill C-22,

an act to amend the Criminal Code on age of

protection and to make consequential amendments

to the Criminal Records Act, cited by the Standing

Committee on Justice and Human Rights, House of

iv

Commons, Apr. 17, 2007, Number 060, Ist Session,

39th Parliament, Ottawa, Canada, http://www.parl.

gc.ca/HousePublications/Publication.aspx?

DocIld=2834262&Language=E&Mode=1.......... 5 &n.8

Br. of Amicus Curiae Dawn Stefanowicz Supporting

Defs.-Appellants and Supporting Reversal (Aug. 4,

2014, revised Sept. 21, 2014), in DeLeon v. Perry, No.

14-50196 (5th Cir.), oral arg. Jan. 9, 2015 (975 F.

Supp. 2d 632 (W.D. Tex. 2014))........................ 4&n.5

Connecticut General Assembly's Judiciary Committee

Public Hearing—Testimony by Dawn Stefanowicz

March 26, 2007, available at

http://dawnstefanowicz.org/docs/R000326-

TIT Tshinsiicnindintrenspinieiitniniainadiansinnntdnianstibedii 5 &n.9

Destructive Trends in Mental Health: The Well-

Intentioned Path to Harm (NA Cummings & RH

Wright eds.), New York, NY: Routledge, Taylor &

PD GEG, Fi ecccc ccs ccc cecescescncceses 18-19 & n.14

Marian Wright Edelman, quote (undated), available

at Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Positive Quotes

(undated), http:/Awww.quotes-positive.com/quote/

stand-up-children-then-much-90/ (last visited March

is I iniaiinicecndh aia nnninenbiinderneueimmdaiesunietiaetts 35 & n.17

INTERVIEWS with Dawn, http://www.

dawnstefanowicz.org/documents/

INTERVIEWSwithDawnS_010.pdf............... 3&n.4

Photograph of Denise Shick as a young girl of five

I i ciuinidnicnasarinnennntitneeneinuiniietadiabesedin 25

Photograph of Denise Shick’s father as a man

Ion ci al alana cli desided depeeainnianindniasietienia 26

Photograph of Denise Shick’s father as “Becky”

Walter R. Schumm, Children of homosexuals more

apt to be homosexuals? A reply to Morrison and to

Cameron based on an examination of multiple

sources of data, 42 J. of Biosocial Sci. 721 (2010),

Abstract, available at http://www.researchgate.net/

publication/45274042_Children_of_homosexuals_mo

re_apt_to_ be_homosexuals_A_reply_to_Morrison_

and_to_Cameron_based_on_an_examination_of_mult

I I a. cxnesnniainietninnandenentinentio 6-7 & n.11

Denise Shick, Daughter of LGBT Family Pleads for

Calm after Alcorn Suicide, American Thinker, Feb.

2, 2015, http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/

2015/02/daughter_of_lgbt_family_pleads_for_calm_af

Cor _MICOEM SURCHEO. ROME. .....000ccccccccccccccccccces 32 & n.16

Denise Shick, co-author with Jerry Gramckow of My

Daddy’s Secret (Xulon Press, Feb. 2008)............. 1n.3

Sonia Sotomayor, My Beloved World (paperback ed..,

Vintage Books 2014 (2013))............... 00. .c. eee eee. 36-37

Dawn Stefanowicz, Our Stories,

http:/Awww.dawnstefanowicz.org/ourstories.htin (last

TSE RE SOE oe ae eT 4

Dawn Stefanowicz, author of Out From Under: The

Impact of Homosexual Parenting (Redemption Press,

April 1, 2014, and Kindle, Redemption Press, June

I a atta ak ech cecal 1n.2

Dawn C. Stefanowicz, Public Hearing of the

Judiciary Committee on the Marriage Amendment,

Boston, Massachusetts, Apr, 11, 2006, available at

http://www.voteonmarriage.org/leghearing.

TITEL OSI TE Te Ne 5-6 & n.10

Submitted Testimony, Dawn Stefanowicz (though

my name, as with some other testifiers, is not listed

on the website infra), Marriage Equality

Amendment Bill 2009, The Senate Legal and

Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee, Nov.

26, 2009, Commonwealth of Australia, available at

http://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/

Committees/Senate/Legal_and_Constitutional_Affair

s/Completed_inquiries/2008-10/marriage_equality/

report/index (last visited March 20, 2015, as with all

other Internet links herein, except where

Craig Takeuchi, Anti-abortion, anti-gay activist Bill

Whatcott admits defeat in Canada, The Georgia

Straight, Mar. 13, 2015, 2:56 p.m., http://www.

straight.com/blogra/411046/anti-abortion-anti-gay-

activist-bill-whatcott-admits-defeat-canada (last

Ce SD Sin Binds deccctcucccnsadccescicce 16 &n.13

Warren Throckmorton, On the APA’s Same-Sex

Marriage Resolution, NARTH Bulletin, p. 17 (Dec.

Witness, Dawn C. Stefanowicz, Bill C-250, to amend

the Criminal Code (hate propaganda), Parliament of

Canada, Proceedings of the Standing Senate

Committee on Legal and Constitutional Affairs,

Issue 4 - Evidence for Mar. 17, 2004, Ottawa,

Canada, http://www.parl.gc.ca/Content/SEN/

Committee/373/lega/04eva-e.htm?Language=

E&Parl=37&Ses=3&comm_id=11.................. 5 & n.7

STATEMENT OF INTEREST OF AMICAE

CURIAE!

Dawn Stefanowicz? and Denise Shick,’ are

writing this amicus brief in support of Respondents,

to ask that the Court respect the original definition

of marriage as between one man and one woman to

the exclusion of all others. Our interest here is for

three key reasons. Firstly, our interest is due to our

diverse personal, professional, or social experiences

with our fathers, their same-sex sexual partners and

associated gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual

subcultures during the first 30 years of our lives.

Secondly, our interest in this case is due to the

review of the (mostly flawed) same-sex parenting

research and social science research. Thirdly, our

interest is based on continuing direct

communications with many adults from GLBT

households.

SUMMARY OF ARGUMENT

Dawn Stefanowicz, who has testified to many

legislative bodies about the damage same-sex

parenting can do to children, had a highly abusive

homosexual father who exposed her and her siblings

! No party or its counsel wrote or helped write this brief, or

gave money intended to fund its writing or submission, see S.

Ct. R. 37. Blanket permission from Respondents to write briefs

is filed with the Court, as is a letter of permission to Amicae

from Petitioners.

2 Dawn Stefanowicz, author of Out From Under: The Impact of

Homosexual Parenting (Redemption Press, April 1, 2014, and

Kindle, Redemption Press, June 16, 2014) (2007).

3’ Denise Shick,co-author with Jerry Gramckow of My Daddy's

Secret (Xulon Press, Feb. 2008).

to a frightening and physically dangerous

environment by his lifestyle. Her father’s

companions acted in inappropriate ways around her

brothers. Dawn was deeply hurt by her father’s lack

of comprehension of how to raise a female child, a

daughter, in a proper and nurturing way.

Denise Shick had an extremely violent and

abusive transgender father who beat her and

inappropriately touched her. Yet perhaps the worst

thing he did was to fail to provide a fatherly, male

role model, instead living out a “female identity”

called “Becky” and dressed as a woman.

It is difficult to be a child of same-sex parents, for

reasons including sexual or gender confusion; forced

approval of certain sexual lifestyles; and

commodification of children.

In Canada, free speech has suffered greatly due to

government pressure to conform to a narrow line on

GLBT issues.

Similarly, a de facto censorship limits accurate

expression on GLBT issues in scholarly venues.

And adult children of same-sex parents are often

marginalized or insulted when, after years of not

fully realizing how much they missed by not having

a mother or a father, they then speak out publicly

about the damage from same-sex parenting.

Having a transgender parent can lead to deep

pain, confusion, and not being comfortable with one’s

own gender during the difficult time of growing up.

In all, redefinition of marriage to include

mandatory legalized same-sex marriage will hurt the

Nation and its coming generations. The Court should

let each State’s people decide whether to take such a

drastic step, rather than the Court imposing it on

each State.

ARGUMENT

Our position against same-sex marriage is

determined based on our review of the research on

marriage and parenting as well as communications

with other adult children who grew up in

“alternative” households, involving at least one

parent who had same-sex relationships. Due to the

long-term negative impact experienced by these

children, the widespread political correctness and

silencing about the impact on children, the threats to

livelihoods and relationships, only a small number of

adult children have gone public.

I. GROWING UP IN A “GAY” HOUSEHOLD:

DAWN STEFANOWICZ

I thank the Court for this opportunity, by the

way. I would like to mention that I am an

internationally recognized speaker, author and

media spokesperson.‘

Years ago, I, Dawn, began communications with

adult children with a gay or lesbian parent — most

adult children wanted to remain anonymous. Adult

children marked by an * I personally communicated

with and received permission to post each of their

stories to my website since 2006: Lee Taylor’,

Debbie Smith*, Mitzy Lancaster*, Dolores Oliveira’,

Jeremy Deck, Jakki Edwards*, Denise Shick",

‘ For some information about me as media guest, see

INTERVIEWS with Dawn, http://www .dawnstefanowicz.org/

documents/INTERVIEWSwithDawnS_010.pdf.

Charles Mitchell, Suzanne Cook* and Nathan Bell*.

(See our stories at http://www.dawnstefanowicz.org/

ourstories.htm (last visited March 21, 2015).)

I acknowledge that children are impacted long-

term by various family structures and living

arrangements. I here address the impact of

legislation affecting children, and I have advocated

for children and families, pertaining to marriage,

parenting, sexuality and education. Internationally,

my testimony has been submitted to the Australian

Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Standing

Committee and to Argentina’s senators. I have

addressed party leaders in Paraguay. I testified at

the Canadian Senate Standing Committee on Legal

and Constitutional Affairs on hate crime legislation

in 2004. Also, I provided testimony to: Canadian

Members of Parliament regarding same-sex

marriage and the government committee reviewing

Age of Sexual Consent law. And I have provided

testimony in U.S. States: Connecticut,

Massachusetts, Florida, Iowa, Maryland and

Washington. As well, my amicus brief was filed with

the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth

Circuit.5

Only my testimonies where hyperlinks are

available are listed:

A. Submitted Testimony, Dawn Stefanowicz

(though my name, as with some other

testifiers, is not listed on the website infra),

5 Br. of Amicus Curiae Dawn Stefanowicz Supporting Defs.-

Appellants and Supporting Reversal (Aug. 4, 2014, revised

Sept. 21, 2014), in DeLeon v. Perry, No. 14-50196 (5th Cir.),

oral arg. Jan. 9, 2015 (975 F. Supp. 2d 632 (W.D. Tex. 2014)):

Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009,

The Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs

Legislation Committee, Nov. 26, 2009,

Commonwealth of Australia;®

B. Witness, Dawn C. Stefanowicz, Bill C-250,

to amend the Criminal Code (hate

propaganda), Parliament of Canada,

Proceedings of the Standing Senate

Committee on Legal and Constitutional

Affairs, Issue 4 - Evidence for Mar. 17, 2004,

Ottawa, Canada;’

C. Brief submitted by Dawn Stefanowicz re Bill

C-22, an act to amend the Criminal Code on

age of protection and to make consequential

amendments to the Criminal Records Act,

cited by the Standing Committee on Justice

and Human Rights, House of Commons,

Apr. 17, 2007, Number 060, 1*t Session, 39%

Parliament, Ottawa, Canada;®

D. Connecticut General Assembly’s Judiciary

Committee Public Hearing—Testimony by

Dawn Stefanowicz March 26, 2007;°

E. Dawn C. Stefanowicz, Public Hearing of the

Judiciary Committee on the Marriage

6 Available at http://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/

Committees/Senate/Legal_and_Constitutional_Affairs/

Completed_inquiries/2008-10/marriage_equality/report/index

(last visited March 20, 2015, as with all other Internet links

herein, except where noted).

7 http://www.parl.gce.ca/Content/SEN/Committee/37 3/lega/

O04eva-e.htm?Language—E &Parl=37 &Ses=3&comm_id=11.

® http://www.par].gc.ca/HousePublications/Publication.aspx?

Doc] d=2834262&Language=E&Mode=1.

® Available at http://dawnstefanowicz.org/docsa/R000326-

DawnTMY.pdf.

6

Amendment, Boston, Massachusetts, Apr. 11,

2006. '°

Dawn Stefanowicz: I was born in Toronto, Canada

and grew up with a homosexual father, his same-sex

sexual partners, exposed to the GLBT (gay, lesbian,

bi-sexual, transgender) subcultures, during the first

30 years of my life. I loved my father absolutely.

I am always compassionate towards men and

women who struggle with their sexuality/gender

identity. Many of us children who grew up under the

GLBT umbrella struggle with sexuality confusion

too; see, e.g.,

Cameron’s (2006) hypothesis that gay

and lesbian parents would be more

likely to have gay, lesbian, bisexual or

unsure (of sexual orientation) sons and

daughters was confirmed. Percentages

of children of gay and lesbian parents

who adopted non-heterosexual

identities ranged between 16% and

57%, with odds ratios of 1.7 to 12.1,

depending on the mix of child and

parent genders. Daughters of lesbian

mothers were most likely (33% to 57%;

odds ratios from 4.5 to 12.1) to report

non-heterosexual identities. Data from

ethnographic sources and from previous

studies on gay and lesbian parenting

were re-examined and found to support

the hypothesis that social and parental

10 Available at http://www.voteonmarriage.org/leghearing.

shtmFtdawn.

influences may influence the expression

of non-heterosexual identities and/or

behaviour... . The results confirm an

evolving tendency among scholars to

cite the possibility of some degree of

intergenerational crossover of sexual

orientation.!!

My father grew up in a violent alcoholic home

where he was verbally, physically and sexually

abused by older male relatives. As an adolescent, he

had male sexual partners. Though my father

initially married my ill and passive mother, it was

during my infancy that my father brought boyfriends

into our home, one who lived with us until I was

almost six. Both my twin brother and I were sexually

abused by our dad. By age 3, I unconsciously turned

away from Dad to look for a substitute for father’s

love, and in later years, looked for boyfriends.

Along with nightmares and a major speech

impediment for 7 years, sleepless nights, challenges

academically, decades of depression and suicidal

ideation, I felt unworthy of love. Peer relationships

were difficult for me. It was constantly stressful

around my father and his partners. Dad spent most

of his attention on his male lovers. I never felt safe

and secure at home.

1! Walter R. Schumm, Children of homosexuals more apt to be

homosexuals? A reply to Morrison and to Cameron based on an

examination of multiple sources of data, 42 J. of Biosocial Sci.

721 (2010), Abstract, avatlable at http://www.researchgate.net/

publication/45274042_Children_of_homosexuals_more_apt_to_

be_homosexuals_A_reply_to_Morrison_and_to_Cameron_based

_on_an_examination_of_multiple_sources_of_data.

For a little girl to grow up in a gay home and

GLBT subcultures damages her sense of femininity

and budding womanhood. Women are not the

primary recipients of love and kindness; male and

female are not considered equal and necessary.

I wasn’t surrounded by average heterosexual

couples. Dad’s partners slept and ate in our home,

and they took me along to meeting places in the

GLBT communities. I was exposed to overt sexual

activities like sodomy, nudity, pornography, group

sex, sadomasochism and the ilk. There was no

guarantee that any of my Dad’s partners would be

around for long, and yet I often had to obey them.

My rights and innocence were violated.

At nine, I was deeply grieved to find out that two

of my father’s partners committed suicide after Dad

rejected them. Even Dad was suicidal and used

prescription sleeping pills for years.

When I was about nine, Dad took me to the

downtown sex shop, and to see the work of gay

artists, which sometimes symbolized phallic art.

He’d take me to nude beaches and public parks

where gay men met. If the police were coming, they'd

tip one another off and stop sexual activity. The gay

community was quite informed about their meeting

places for sex across North America, including:

public beaches, gay bars, bathhouses, mall

restrooms, back alleys, gyms or even parks where

children played. My father cruised all over Canada.

He also loved coming to the United States for

vacationing and cruising; his favorite cities included

9

San Francisco, New York, Miami and Ft.

Lauderdale.

This was before the Internet age’s “online gay

hookup” or “cruising” sites, when men regularly

visited the gay bars and bathhouses.

As owner of an executive recruiting agency, my

father also kept an apartment near his downtown

office where he could meet someone for quick sex.

My father liked well-dressed, “clean-cut” men, who

were about 10 years younger than he was.

Once, when I was in the 10th grade, my father

attended my school’s band performance briefly. I saw

his eyes widen when he saw all the teenage boys

performing on the stage with me. He suddenly

disappeared. I was heartbroken that he was really

there to pick up young men.

At times, my father would tell me what to wear to

dress provocatively and we'd go out cruising. I didn’t

like being treated as an object, but I wanted to spend

time with him. Ultimately I was seeking his love and

acceptance. He sometimes would fondle my breasts,

questioning if I was wearing a bra. This would upset

me. I was not allowed to freely question him, bring

up moral arguments, or hurt his feelings, or I would

face long-term repercussions. Very few pictures were

taken of my family. Rather, there were nude pictures

of my father and his partner standing in the

washroom and hallway of our home. The pictures

were discovered by my twin brother, taped under one

of the drawers of a dresser my father had given him.

Unfortunately, I do not have happy gay family

pictures to show the Court.

10

The dangerous road my father and his sexual

partners walked included: mental anguish,

psychological impact and physical health risks. Some

of my father’s partners committed suicide when

relationships soured. They often had alcohol and

drug addictions and were isolated from family

members. Many of them had sexually-transmitted

diseases, lost many partners, had shortened lives

and died of HIV/AIDS. I still grieve the loss of these

men.

It was not a safe place for children. As a child,

you're at high risk of exposure to particular

pathogens which can be passed on surfaces. These

surfaces include: shared utensils and dishes,

toothbrushes, linens and towels. As a little girl, I

picked up whatever razor was left lying around in

our washroom and began shaving my legs - even if it

belonged to one of Dad’s partners.

Gay sex is messy. I would see and sometimes

launder dirty bed sheets, covered with sperm, feces

and lubricant, on occasion. I never saw condoms.

During my teens, I became ill for a few years; and

my father sent me to a medical specialist who

treated gay men. My blood was tested; afterwards, I

was told to rest.

A few years ago, I told my physician about my

father. My doctor sent me for extensive blood tests

required for high risk groups, such as gay men and

prostitutes. Test results showed I had been exposed

to pathogens.

My father said that one or more of his partners

may sexually abuse my brothers; yet, my father

continued coming home with different men. It was

11

normal practice for gay men to approach young

adolescent males for sex. When I brought home a 14-

year-old male friend, my father and his boyfriend

approached him for sex.

Different men would come to live or visit with us

for a time. They had sex all over the house: in the

washroom, hallway, my brothers’ and my bedrooms,

and the recreation room and attic.

A fatherless 18-year-old artist came to live with

us (my father also had sex with his younger brother

who weeks later committed suicide). They'd go out

cruising. Men came home for group sex. My younger

brother, unable to cope, was in trouble with the law,

dropping out of school in grade 9.

My twin brother witnessed a lot, including group

sex and gay porn. By his late teens, he attempted

suicide. Growing up, these events harmed us in

many ways. I had a twisted view of sexuality,

gender, marriage and did not want to marry or have

children. While still a girl, it seemed better if I had

been born a boy—Dad even encouraged me to dress

manly and wear men’s cologne. I felt very stressed

and afraid. I never knew what my father and his

partners would do next, where they would go or

whom they would meet up with. His relationships

were unstable. Even when partnered, my father and

his partner would still cruise for sex with other men.

One evening, my father threatened that he would

put me in blood, because my twin brother and I had

checked out a university outside of Toronto, Canada.

I was devastated and very afraid for my life. Later,

he hit me with his hand because I called him a

12

homosexual, a term I spoke to describe my father’s

sexual relations.

In my twenties, after marrying my husband and

moving out of Toronto, I reached out to my father,

trying to forgive him and seek reconciliation. My

father shared more than I was allowed to share. We

would talk on the phone until he was too tired to

speak. Our visits were emotional for me, especially

the last one. I rvas able to hold his hand while

restraining tears, speak a few words, until it became

unbearable. My father died of AIDS in 1991. Shortly

afterwards, I completed final accounting exams and

began therapy.

II. INSTABILITY OF GAY HOUSEHOLDS

Over 50 adult children from “alternative”

households, plus spouses/ex-spouses with children

and other family members have contacted Dawn.

It is quite difficult to discuss the implications of

growing up in a gay household until later in

adulthood when we have developed a measure of

personal identity and independence apart from our

GLBT parent, partners and the subcultures. By

then, we have often made academic, career and

major relationship decisions.

We are often forced to approve and tolerate all

forms of expressed sexuality, including various

sexual and gender identity preferences. Though

fostering and adoption, and more recently, at-home

insemination kits, artificial reproductive

technologies, egg and/or sperm donors and surrogacy

are ways we can end up with gay parents, most of us

were conceived heterosexually.

13

The varied family forms, living arrangements and

imposing cultural values play havoc on us as

children. Our home environments have unique and

unstable characteristics, making it difficult to

classify adult children into narrow and restrictive

categories for research purposes, especially for gay

parenting studies.

These unstable characteristics include the

presence and/or absence of the following: a. biological

parent(s), b. legal parents/guardians (incl. foster/

adoptive parents), c. parents’ sexual partners, and d.

number of different residences.

As well, parental marital status can vary: a.

single, b. cohabiting with one or more boyfriends

and@/or girlfriends, c. married, d. divorced and/or e.

widowed.

Children may have lived with one or more

parent(s) and/or one or more parental sexual

partner(s), during some or all of our childhoods, in

one or more residential settings.

Imagine what it is like for a child to have

multiple parents, which includes your father’s and/or

mother’s new sexual partner(s) whe may go before

the court to request to be “legal” parents, so that you

as a child have to split weekends, holidays and

Christmases in different residences with different

“family” members (who do not get along or talk with

each other) based on your parents’ current and

previous sexual partners.

Your childhood is divided to please the adults

(whether or not they are called your “parents”). Now,

these adults have argued about where you live, who

you visit, what schools you attend, which doctors you

see, what medical procedures you have, and what

14

faith/religion you practice. You are often forced,

against your conscience, to call dad’s or mom’s

sexual partners: daddy or mommy or special

nicknames. “Family” can involve related siblings,

half-brothers or sisters, step-siblings, biological

parents, other “legal” parents and dad’s and/or

mom’s past and current sexual partners.

My father had a lot of sexual partners, some of

whom lived in our home. Other lovers only visited,

staying for meals and overnights. At least three of

my father’s partners could have requested to be my

“legal” parents, since they had some care-taking role

in my everyday life, even if that meant cooking,

cleaning or providing a tip for homework or

babysitting, similar to what an auntie or grandma

would do.

When children of gay parents grow up and have

children of our own, there often is little to no

intergenerational support available for us, especially

if our parents had multiple sexual partners, mental

and physical health issues, domestic violence issues,

or died young.

Same-sex marriage treats children like traded

commodities, purposely depriving them of their

biological mother and/or biological father. Children

lose forever knowing and relating to their natural

mom and/or dad. Children’s identity and security are

robbed forever: What child does not need to know his

or her biological ancestral roots, next-of-kin and

genetic and familial characteristics (such as physical

appearance, medical history, disposition, ethnic and

religious origins and other qualities)? Same-sex

marriage purposely deprives children of their right

15

to their natural father, natural mother and roots of

origin.

III. WARNING TO AMERICA:

CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS RESTRICTED

It is a lie when you hear, “Permitting same-sex

couples (also throuples) access to the designation of

marriage will not deprive anyone of any rights.”

When same-sex marriage passed in Canada in July,

2005, parenting was immediately redefined,

removing parentage from its biological origins.

Canada’s gay marriage law, Bill C-38,!2 included a

provision to erase the term “natural parent” and

replace it across the board with gender-neutral

“legal parent” in federal law. Now, all children have

“legal parents,” as defined by the state, which means

parental rights are have been usurped by the

government.

In effect, same-sex marriage permits state powers

to override the autonomy of biological parents and

deprives children of their own rights to natural

parentage. Consequently, parents experience state

interference when it comes to moral values and

teachings about family, parenting, and sex education

in schools.

Additionally, since the undefined term “sexual

orientation” (i.e., sexual practices) was added as a

protected category under Canada’s hate crime law in

12 Available at Mary C. Hurley, BILL C-38: THE CIVIL

MARRIAGE ACT, Parliament of Canada (Royal Assent: 20

July 2005. Statutes of Canada S.C. 2005, c. 33), revised Sept.

14, 2005, http://www.parl.gc.ca/About/Parliament/

LegislativeSummaries/bills_ls.asp?ls—c38& Parl=38&Ses=1.

16

2004 and same-sex marriage became legalized in

2005, guaranteed fundamental freedoms of the

Canadian Constitution: the Charter of Rights and

Freedoms, have been reinterpreted, eroded and or

nullified by activist courts and quasi-courts with no

real juries, also known as “human rights tribunals”

or “human rights commissions”.

Freedom to assemble and speak freely about man-

woman marriage, family and sexuality are

restricted. Activists often sit in on religious

assemblies, listening for anything discriminatory

towards GLBT, so a complaint can be made to the

“human rights bodies”. Thus, most faith

communities have become “politically correct” to

avoid fines and loss of charitable status.

For an example of legally-circumscribed free

speech about homosexuality-related issues in

Canada, see, e.g., Craig Takeuchi, Anti-abortion,

anti-gay activist Bill Whatcott admits defeat in

Canada, The Georgia Straight, Mar. 13, 2015, 2:56

p.m.,}5

It’s bye-bye (and good riddance) to

anti-abortion and anti-gay activist Bill

Whatcott, who is calling it quits in

Canada.

The social conservative activist (and

his ministry) has an extensive history of

Canadian legal battles and human

rights complaints.

13 http://www.straight.com/blogra/4 1 1046/anti-abortion-anti-

gay-activist-bill-whatcott-admits-defeat-canada (last visited

March 21, 2015).

17

In 2003, his nursing license was

suspended in Saskatchewan and he was

fined $15,000 for protesting at a

planned parenthood clinic. The ruling

was overturned by an appeals court and

the Supreme Court of Canada.

In 2013, the Supreme Court of

Canada ruled his pamphlets were in

fact hate speech. (Examples of his flyers

are included in appendix B of the

Supreme Court judgment.)

He was arrested in April 2014, along

with Peter LaBarbera, president of

Americans for Truth About

Homosexuality, at the University of

Regina. They continued to distribute

leaflets against homosexuality and

abortion after being asked to leave the

campus by officials. However, he was

found not guilty of mischief.

In [a] blog post, he also admits his

failure to achieve his goals: “I have to

concede defeat in my primary objectives

of securing a robust level of free speech

for my social conservative brethren and

in activating large numbers of

Christians to take a public stand

against the homosexual agenda.”

Id. Even those who disagree with his ideas may

wonder why he was so oppressed by Canada’s

government in disseminating them.

18

Canadian media is restricted by the Canadian

Radio-television and Telecommunications

Commission (CRTC), the media censoring arm of

government and similar to the FCC. If the media air

anything considered discriminatory towards GLBT,

broadcasting licenses can be revoked, and “human

rights bodies” can charge fines and restrict future

airings. Now, does America want to lose her liberties

and freedoms like Canada has?

IV. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS & SCIENCE

Censorship exists within the social sciences,

academia and governmental institutions. Most often,

politically incorrect research is not funded and

articles are not published in professional journals.

Doctors Wright & Cummings, both leaders in their

field of psychology (past presidents of divisions in

the American Psychological Association) and

admittedly advocates of a progressive social and

political agenda, state the following in their book,

Destructive Trends in Mental Health:'*

[A]dvocacy for scientific and

professional concerns has been usurped

by agenda-driven ideologues who show

little regard for either scientific

validation or professional efficacy.

Although I am in agreement with many

of APA’s stances, I am opposed to the

process that has diminished its

credibility. It is no longer perceived as

14 Destructive Trends in Mental Health: The Well-Intentioned

Path to Harm (NA Cummings & RH Wright eds.), New York,

NY: Routledge, Taylor & Francis Group, 2005.

19

an authority that presents scientific

evidence and professional facts. The

APA has chosen ideology over science,

and thus has diminished its influence

on the decision makers in our society.

Id. at pp. xiv and 308.

Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D., exposes the

underhandedness of the APA in his article, On the

APA’s Same-Sex Marriage Resolution,'5 which has

an introductory subtitle, “All on the APA's working

committee knew the outcome they supported before

they started ‘working.’ The committee should have

been called the ‘Same-Sex Marriage & Parenting

Advocacy Committee.” Id. He writes, “The APA

committee lacked diversity and never sought a

consensus from its membership.” Jd. No poll was

ever taken of the 150,000 members about same-sex

marriage and parenting. Rather, see id., the APA’s

resolution was drawn up by 6 committee members

and recommended to the Council of Representatives,

consisting of 160 members, and by a show of hands,

the resolution passed, and the official APA

statement made public.

V. SILENCING OUR VOICES

If anything hurts the feelings of our GLBT

parent(s) and their partners, does not support same-

sex marriage and parenting, it is often edited out of

books, essays, and same-sex parenting studies. The

special-interest groups ignore the horrendous

inequality, permanent losses and prejudice to

18S Warren Throckmorton, On the APA’s Same-Sex Marriage

Resolution, NARTH Bulletin, p. 17 (Dec. 2004).

20

children in the name of adult sexual rights. They can

attempt to silence, intimidate and threaten

dependent children, teens and adults.

Thus, most adult children from gay households

do not feel safe or free to publicly express their

stories and life-long challenges; they fear losing

professional licenses, not obtaining employment in

their chosen field, being cut off from some family

members, or losing whatever relationship they have

with their gay parent(s). Some gay parents have

threatened to leave no inheritance, if we aren't

supportive of certain partners.

We tend to underestimate the impact of our

parent(s)’ sexual relationships while we are in our

twenties and thirties, since we still feel a sense of

obligation to protect our parent(s) and their

partners; additionally, we can naively think that we

can overcome the extraordinary losses and various

traumas and leave the past behind us. Family

secrets are difficult to divulge, so we often will only

say what seems positive and uplifting about our

situation growing up. It is easier to lie and pretend it

wasn't all that bad. We realize that some gay couples

may not act like our fathers; however, more of them

do than the public might suspect.

To get a sense of how much we can talk about our

upbringings, the questions you need to ask us as

children and adults are: 1. How old are you? 2. Are

you still living at home or attending college? 3. How

close (emotionally and geographically) are you to

your parent(s) and their partner(s)? 4. Are you afraid

your parent(s)’ and their partner(s)’ feelings will be

hurt if you tell the truth like it is? 5. Are your

21

parent(s) politically active? 6. What could you lose if

you tell the full truth? 7. Are your parent(s) and/or

their partner(s) still alive?

There are necessary unique intrinsic values,

responsibilities and obligations in man-woman

marriage which benefit children and society which

cannot be duplicated in other family structures.

Please do not deprive children of their rights to know

and be raised by their biological father and mother.

VI. GROWING UP IN A TRANSGENDER

HOUSEHOLD: DENISE SHICK

My name is Denise Shick. My father was what is

now called “transgender”. When I was 9 years old, he

told me he was “really a woman.” Though my mother

tried to protect her children, she was unable to

protect me. It is my hope by speaking out that I am

able to protect other children whose voices are

silenced by the LGBT and others. My father’s

sexually driven desires and behaviors were more

than just confusing to me—they also were

emotionally, and sometimes physically painful for

me, as I will detail in this document.

For children’s sake, marriage must remain as an

institution that unites one man to one woman, each

fully committed to the other, and together committed

to the well-being of their family. Marriage is about

more than procreation. A solid, committed marriage

relationship provides a solid foundation for the

children. Family are where children learn who they

are and where they came from—not just physically,

but emotionally and spiritually. Family provides a

22

key level of discernment about humanity, from

beginning to end.

Despite the increasingly common view that family

is any group of people sharing common living

quarters, real family is much more than that. Family

is a place where life skills and virtues are modeled

for children. The best role modeling for children

comes from a real father and a real mother

committed to one another. Please do not let policies

that affect the Nation be based on what is less then

the best for children. If we offer something less than

the best, we as a country should be ashamed and

prepared to face its consequences.

A. SOME LGBT ACTIVISTS WANT MY VOICE

SILENCED

The Transgender lobby is almost exclusively

males, like my father. Some are violent. I have on

occasion been asked to speak publicly. When I have

spoken my testimony, I have been called a “selfish

daughter’ or a “Bitch.” As I sat, waiting my turn to

give a testimony in Maryland, a m-to-f transgender

purposely stepped on the top of my feet with his high

heeled boots, then chuckled as he passed me. I can

assure you that the transgender who dug into the

top of my feet with his high heels did so on purpose.

I have never been hateful towards those who have a

different view or experience, and I expect the same

in return. But this has not been my experience when

speaking publicly.

Also, in the past, I had confronted a supervisor

who wanted hugs before leaving work. Soon after

this, it appeared that she discovered the fact that I

23

spoke out about my personal experience with my

dad. The supervisor would taunt me. At one point,

she made the statement, “I went to a transgender

fundraiser and I wes so jealous of their high heels

and purses.” My co-workers were confused about

how I was treated by her, as I did not speak about

my employment. Shortly afterwards, a number of

events took place and I was informed that my

supervisor had a sister who identifies as

homosexual, and has a wife.

During my supervisor's retirement party, she

walked over to where I was sitting and placed her

hands on my knee, making the statement, “Consider

this a knee hug.” When did it become wrong for an

adult child or a minor to speak out about their

experiences with a homosexual or transgender

parent? After all, isn’t this what the issue is all

about, the children?

B. MY TOXIC HOME ENVIRONMENT

My dad created an environment in which

everyone in our home walked on pins and needles.

He was very particular and would complain or yell at

me every chance he could. For example, one evening,

he decided to inspect the dishes I had just washed.

He found a spoon with some food on it. Needless to

say, that was all he needed. Before long, he smacked

my face so hard that my glasses went flying to the

floor and left my cheek beet red. He treated all his

children in this overbearing manner. He was

miserable and he wanted everyone around him to

share in his misery. I don’t remember a day that he

seemed happy or smiled. Laughter and joy were not

part of his or my life.

24

My siblings and I learned early on to be as

invisible as possible, which frequently meant

spending long hours in our bedrooms, often alone,

especially when he had fallen asleep while drinking.

I learned that when he was drunk, we could do little

more than whisper to one another while we hid

away. Any noise might disturb him, and a

disturbance likely meant him bursting through the

door, belt in hand, fury written across his face.

He needed no reason to come after us with his

thick, black belt; it was if another personality came

out and we were simply the most convenient targets

to take his rage out on. As the oldest child, I began to

watch for signs that he might be ready to explode.

When I saw the signs, I quickly gathered my little

siblings and ushered them in a closet or out of the

house if time allowed us to hide until his rage

subsided. Sadly, I was not always successful in

detecting his impulsive outbursts. After the

whippings, I was never sure what hurt more, the

welts on our behinds or watching him and hearing

his maniacal chuckles after he’d hit his own

children.

When I was nine years old, Dad’s abuse took a

new turn—it became psychological. He took me out

to a knoll in the yard, alone, and as we sat there he

told me he wanted to become a woman. My nine-

year-old psyche was incapable of processing such a

statement. I tried to imagine not having a father, but

instead having two mothers. It made no sense. I felt

utter rejection and abandonment. I wanted to run

away, but I could not think of anywhere to go.

Despite his mistreatment of my siblings and me, I

still wanted a dad, and a real-dad-and-mom

25

household, just like many of the neighborhood kids

had—like it was supposed to be. It was a natural

need and desire, but he couldn’t seem to grasp my

needs.

Denise as a young girl of five years

As a nine-year-old, I tried to process his opening

statement and his subsequent monologue only

sporadically penetrated my conscious thoughts. Yet

another statement he made was even more confusing

for a child of 9, “When you see me with my legs

crossed, as a woman does when wearing a dress,

you ll know I’m feeling like a woman.” Ever since

then, any time I see a man with his legs crossed as a

woman does when wearing a dress, I remember my

dad’s words clear as a bell, and the memories come

26

flooding back. And, I wonder if that man wants to be

a woman also? Words like these do not leave a child’s

memory and do impact one’s life.

He become hateful towards me as I grew up to be

exactly what he wanted, and that was to be “a girl’.

The envy grew as I grew, making my life miserable.

He lived in his own little world, while ignoring the

needs of those around him.

Denise's father as a man

At times I would have to pour water on my cereal

because he spent milk and other grocery monies to

buy his clothes. As a child I did without; however,

my dad always had his stash of clothes, jewelry and

meals out. Today, children are hearing the message

that their needs don’t count; only the needs of their

parents matter. This is a deranged way to raise

children. As I tried to process that revelation, he

blindsided me with another: he never wanted to have

children. He was telling me that my siblings and I

27

were mistakes and did not align with his “wants” in

life. It was if the wind was knocked out ut me and

any hope I had of him loving me was gone. Again, he

spoke words that a child does not forget.

C. MY MOM WAS DEVALUED

Dad also r2vealed to me that he forced my mother

to buy him women’s underwear and bras. Her

emotional status and integrity meant nothing to

him. My mother stopped wearing lipstick, and lost

the desire to look attractive. My dad devalued my

mom and what it was to be a woman and his wife.

Her personhood was sucked up like that of a

vacuum. She was made to work when my baby sister

was only one year old in order to provide food for us

children, and to provide clothes on our backs. My

mom’s environment caused her to suffer from

constant migraines, depression, anxiety and

isolation. When a woman marries a man and has a

family, it is reasonable for her to expect that she will

not be forced into living someone’s sexual fetish for

the rest of her life 24/7.

D. BECOMING MY DAD’S VICTIM

As I grew and developed, he frequently fondled

me. He had a deep envy of my female body. Even if I

ran from him, he’d chase me down, tackle me to the

ground, and indulge in his sick fantasies. He laid

right on top of my back, then wrapped his arms

around my sides to grab hold of my breasts and start

to squeeze them so tight that it hurt. I screamed to

no avail and would eventually squirm away from

him. It was as if he thought that by laying his body

on top of mine, he could fantasize about my breasts

28

belonging to him on his body. A neighbor saw his

disgusting behavior and informed my mom. She and

I discussed the possibility of going to live with my

grandmother, but we never did. I knew I needed to

stop this cycle of abusing children, and it would stop

with me. I made a personal vow to not be like my

dad in any way with my own children.

As time passed, Dad’s obsession with

buying women’s clothing escalated, and so did the

bills to pay for it. Even with both parents working,

bill collectors were constantly calling as Dad

continually bought more mail-order and store-bought

night gowns, bras, panties, jewelry, and makeup. My

mom tried the best she could to provide for her

children. She did her best to provide for us. But it

simply was not enough with my dad’s compulsive

spending on his womanizing items of every

description. He was obessive and compulsive; he

clearly was financially irresponsible and remained

so. Though family funds were often low and out, my

dad would visit a local bar dressed in drag, wearing

a red wig.

As an adolescent, J had to be very careful about

how I dressed, worrying that an ill-chosen outfit

might trigger an appalling response from my father.

At one point, I began to hate my developed body as it

was the very thing he wanted most. When I began

wearing makeup, I had to block out lurid pictures of

my dad applying the makeup to his just-shaved face.

Often I wondered if he would like the same color of

eye shadow or lipstick. Slowly I realized that he was

destroying my desire to be a woman and I could not

enjoy being a girl in my home; it wasn’t safe around

29

my dad. I didn’t want to have breasts. My breasts

had proven to be too dangerous because of his envy

for the very body parts I was born with.

I reached the teenage and young misses clothing

size—and with the budget so strained, Dad had to

cut back on the mail orders of women’s clothes—so

he began “borrowing” my clothing, including my

underwear, bras and bathing suit! I often found

articles of my clothing in places I would not have put

them, such as the attic, in between the bathroom

towels, or even in the cab of his pickup truck. I

quickly learned how to arrange my clothing to help

me know if he had been in my dresser drawers. The

man’s obsession knew no bounds, and it often made

me emotionally ill.

cies

Denise’s father as “Becky”

The obsession escalated further still. On more

than one occasion, when only my father and I were

home, I heard noises from my brother’s bedroom,

which shared a common wall with the bathroom—

30

the bathroom I used for showering or changing

clothes. On one of those occasions, I decided to

investigate. I found a hole in the wall. I saw an eye

peering through. My own father was watching me

shower and dress. I just wanted to curl up and die. I

had no safe place in our home. This was a proven

factor in my life time and time again.

One evening, when a friend was visiting, as we

sat on the floor watching TV, Dad sat down on the

couch nearby. In only a matter of moments, Dad

opened the fly of his pajamas, and in full view of my

friend and me, began fondling himself. I was

horrified and sat in silence, hoping my friend would

by some chance not see what he was doing. From

that time on, I knew it was unsafe to ever bring a

friend home in my mother’s absence. My life

revolved around my dad. What was safe to wear?

Where was it safe to be? And I knew it was not an

option any longer to bring any friends home.

Despite my earlier resolve to break the cycle of

abuse, eventually the depravity took its toll. As a

teenager, I began drinking heavily. High school

bathrooms and homes of friends had proven to be

successful places to engage in this behavior. I

discovered a deep longing I had for masculine love

and attention which I failed to receive from my dad.

I became flirtatious with those whose attention I

tried to gain. I had 13 different boyfriends by the end

of seventh grade alone. At one point, I narrowly

escaped being raped. I wanted what so many of my

friends had, a real dad, but I had to settle for an

emotionally non-existent and unloving father. I

reached a point of contemplating suicide. The only

31

thing that stopped me from committing such an act,

was the fear of not being successful and ending up

being in a wheelchair or bedridden the rest of my

life.

When boyfriends came by to take me out, Dad’s

smiles were overtly feminine and flirtatious. Each

time I prayed that the boy would not notice, but I

always feared they did. While on the phone with a

boy, he would quickly click the receiver down. After I

returned from dates, Dad’s envy was always evident.

He became very angry at me and started fights on

purpose when I came home. His resentment for me

being a girl was clear. He wanted to be me and

wanted my life; he was suffocating me. His envy

turned into resentment and hostility.

During my senior year in high school, I was

engaged to be married. We planned the wedding for

shortly after graduation. However, my home life was

still a mess. So I eagerly counted the months and

days, waiting for the day when I would be out of this

toxic home.

On my wedding day, dressed in the gown my

mother sewed for me, and with the guests seated in

the church sanctuary, it was time for the wedding

party to proceed. My dad and I were alone at the end

of the hall as he was to walk me down the aisle. Just

before the procession, he looked at me eye to eye and

said, “I wish it were me in that dress.” Really? Are

you kidding me? I thought. I’m preparing to walk

down the aisle to be married and my father tells me

he wants to take my place, in my wedding dress, to

marry my soon-to-be husband. I had to pretend I

hadn't heard him to survive one more time. I told

32

myself, just walk down the aisle. Part of me wanted

to run, run, run, away from him, right then and

there—never to see him again. He stole my special

day and made it all about him and his self-centered

desires once again. Needless to say, when I had

children I could not trust him with them.

I was 28 years old when Dad decided to leave my

mother and fully pursue his “dream life” as a

woman, and begin relationships with other men. To

me he was “Dad.” Some have accused me of being

insensitive or disrespectful of my dad’s desires.

Simply writing that sentence required some deep

reflection and introspection. Even if I had acquiesced

and addressed him (her) as “Becky”, doing so would

not have changed his relationship to me. “He was my

father, the one whose seed implanted me in my

mother’s womb.” (Shick)!

Thirteen years later, my mother told me my dad

was dying. My father died six months later, but not

before I had many opportunities to talk with him as

an adult and try to understand his pain through eyes

of compassion and love. The undeniable truth was

that, no matter what he’d put me through, he was

still my dad. No matter how much I tried to hate him

for being the disastrous father he'd been, I still loved

him. I realized that children don’t get to pick their

parents, however, we do choose whether to love them

or not. More difficult days were ahead, however, as I

cleaned his home after his death. As I walked up the

16 Denise Shick, Daughter of LGBT Family Pleads for Calm

after Alcorn Suicide, American Thinker, Feb. 2, 2015,

http://www .americanthinker.com/articles/2015/02/daughter_of_

lgbt_family_pleads_for_calm_after_alcorn_suicide. html.

33

hallway, I saw that mirrors were mounted on each

wall. At the top of the stairs, the room on the right

was filled with dolls, and with boxes of letters from

and to his male companions. Reality hit me right in

the face—in black and white.

As I read those letters, I again felt like that

bewildered child like so many years ago. I never

wanted two moms. I'd always wanted a mom and

dad. I needed a mom and a dad. I wanted my dad to

teach me how to dance. I wanted my dad to teach me

what to look for in a future husband. I wanted my

dad not to envy who or what I was, but rather to

treasure me as his little girl. I wanted my dad to

embrace me as a daughter. My hunger for a dad was

not selfish; it was the true need of a child. Without

him as a fatherly presence, I missed out on what life

was really meant to be with him.

As a child I was deprived of not only a father’s

love, but also of a father’s affirmation of his

daughter. My dad had no concerns about his family’s

basic needs. Instead, he focused on his selfish

obsessions and needs. The sad irony was that in the

end, when he got what he thought he’d always

wanted, he still never achieved happiness and

satisfaction. He was sad to the very end of his life.

In my own father’s words, “Change my house many

times, change, change, change, change. Yet, I am _

missing something, the something is completeness.”

E. THE IMPACT ON MY LIFE

While growing up in our home, I became a

caretaker for my mom, as she became ill often due to

the stress she was lived under. By third grade, I also

34

became the main care-taker of my siblings since my

mother worked the afternoon shift. I had to be the

responsible one since my dad was not interested in

nor capable of the job.

I felt dirty, guilty and uncomfortable about being

a girl. I hated my developing body as I started to

grow breasts and my hips became curved. I had a

strong dislike toward menstrual cycles as they

served as a constant reminder of what my dad

wanted to be: a woman. I, along with my mom, lost

the desire to be women. I felt devalued as a girl, as a

daughter and then as a woman. I had to become

what everyone else needed and many times lost my

identity in the process. It was if a quiet pact had

been made by my parents and me. If anyone came to

visit our family, relatives included, reality was not

spoken of, while smiles and pleasantries were

exchanged: leaving most people clueless to the

reality we lived in.

Our society is coming to promote the view that

children don’t need a dad and a mom. This simply is

not the truth. My father abandoned his role as a

father, and I can tell you that I missed out on the

one thing I most deeply needed and desired. I

searched high and low for a substitute father to help

fill the void. I struggled with unworthiness, feeling

that I did not deserve the love of a father. I had low

esteem and struggled to believe in myself until years

later, after much healing from my childhood

wounds. In some ways, you could say that it seemed

like I was raised in a single-parent home, my mother

being the main caretaker. While in her absence, due

35

to work, I was being emotionally abused and

mistreated by my babysitter, my dad.

I don’t want any other child to endure a home life

like the one I endured. The most basic need—the

fundamental right—of any child is to have a real

father and a real mother, committed to one another

in marriage, and committed unreservedly to the

well-being of their children. Redefining marriage

would create a missing component of what a child’s

greatest need is. It also is denying a child the right

to a mother and a father, and if we do that, as a

country we will no longer be interested in the kind of

world we are leaving to the next generation, and the

generation after that. By redefining marriage, the

country will be saying to a child, “what you need

does not matter”. I end with a quote from Marian

Wright Edelman: “If we don’t stand up for children,

then we don’t stand for much.”!”

x** *

We two amicae are presenting real stories of our

own lives and of other lives of which we have heard.

We are not claiming that all homosexual parents or

transgender parents will act in ways as abusive as

our parents treated us. However, we believe that a

larger number of gay or transgender parents behave

in similarly abusive ways to the ways our parents

mistreated us, than the public might believe based

on the fashionably sanitized, laudatory image that

17 Available at, e.g., Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Positive Quotes

(undated), http://www.quotes-positive.com/quote/stand-up-

children-then-much-90/ (last visited March 21, 2015).

36

the mass media, and gay-marriage advocacy groups,

often present of gay or gender-crossing parents.

These days, gay or transgender lifestyles are

often presented as being a sort of substitute

sainthood, and a license for endless grievances which

have to be kowtowed to without question. Some

would-be pundits even fantasize that same-sex

parenting is somehow better, more “modern”,

“tolerant”, and “progressive”, than traditional man-

and-woman parenting. But not all children of same-

sex parents end up as Rhodes Scholars, Olympic gold

medalists, or junior Mother Teresas; various studies

have shown that children of same-sex parents end

up worse off than children of traditional, diverse-

gender parents. We ourselves certainly ended up

worse-off, in many ways, than most children of

traditional parents would tend to become.

And not all same-sex parents are paragons of

decency, even if some of them are conventionally

high-achieving people (and some of those have

served as “perfect plaintiffs” in various same-sex-

marriage lawsuits). Even those same-sex parents

with fine intentions and fine résumés are not able to

do the impossible: how can a man serve as a female

role model to a little girl? In fact, as much as Denise

loved her father, his attempt to enter a fantasized

“female identity” was disastrous and incredibly

destructive. And as much as Dawn loved her father,

his lifestyle risked serving as a “familial role model”

for sodomy and other dangerous practices.

(One source of enlightenment is Sonia Sotomayor,

My Beloved World (paperback ed., Vintage Books

2014 (2013)), the photograph subtitled, “Trying very

hard at age four to match Mami’s glamour, both of

37

us dressed in new hats for Easter’, at the bottom

left-hand corner of the seventh page of photographs

following p. 246 of written text. Id. So, see id.,

Sonia’s mother was a role model in how to dress,

with high sartorial standards. That being so, we

think it is more than reasonable to assume that a

mother, as with Mrs. Sotomayor, could do a better

job of modeling women’s clothing for children, and

performing as a female role model in general, than

could a man dressed up in women’s clothing (like

Denise’s father), or any man, period. A man is not a

woman, even if he thinks he is one. If this Court

attempts to erase gender, that Sisyphean project

may have no better result in the long run, than does

any other attempt to pretend Nature does not exist.)

Reality has limits that fantasy and irresponsiblity

simply cannot go beyond. Therefore, the people of

every State have a right, even a responsibility, to

protect public health, the general welfare, and the

good of children by not extending marriage beyond

its traditional, natural, healthy definition.

CONCLUSION

We, Dawn Stefanowicz and Denise Shick,

respectfully ask that the Court support that

marriage needs to remain a societal foundation that

constitutes, represents, and defends the inherently

procreative relationship between the husband and

the wife for the welfare of their biological children

and society; and respectfully ask the Court to uphold

the judgment of the court of appeals. We humbly

thank the Court for its time and consideration.

March 24, 2015 Respectfully submitted,

38

David Boyle

Counsel of Record

P.O. Box 15143

Long Beach, CA 90815

dbo@boyleslaw.org

(734) 904-6132

Counsel for Amicae Curiae

Denise Shick and Dawn

Stefanowicz